This is one of those books that you can read over and over again and get new insights from!

Here is one idea: 

She [Ms Stacy] said we couldn’t be too careful what habits we formed and what ideals we acquired in our teens, because by the time we were twenty our characters would be developed and the foundation laid for our whole future life.  And she said if the foundation were shaky we could never build anything really worthwhile on it.”
       Chapter 30  (Conversation between Anne and Marilla)

What character do we want to have?  What habits do we think are important to develop those habits?  

Our childhood experiences help establish who we are.  What experiences do you remember?  How did they influence you?

As a parent, what experiences do I want my children to have?  How do I build an environment that will help create great character in myself and my family?  

Anne had small everyday experiences that helped form who she would become.  What small changes do I want to make in my home to help create a home of happy childhood experiences?  and happy adult experiences?   

Reading Atomic Habits by James Clear helps me see that it is the small and simple things that can have great effects on my habits.  I just need to carefully choose and plan what I want in my home.  

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Amazing Book.  I am so glad that I read this book. 

The first sentence of the book: “Life is difficult.”   Well, that gets my attention right away since there are so many great things about life and so many difficult things.  Still on the first page:  “Life is a series of problems.  Do you want to moan about them or solve them? Do you want to teach your children to solve them?” 

Since my answer to both questions is to solve them, I continued reading the book.  If I were to quickly recap this book, I would say the book is about learning to love yourself through self-discovery and developing discipline (wanting to grow). 
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At the back of my book, I listed out nine books that support the ideas in this book.  I enjoy finding interdisciplinary bridges to the books I am reading.
 

My copy of this book is pretty worn, but with sweet memories.  This was a book that my grandmother gave me.  It came as a set and included The Little House in the Big Woods and Mary Poppins.  If there was another book, I don’t remember it.  I don’t remember what year I was given this book, but I remember that my first books came from my grandmother.  I am not sure how many times I have read this book, but I don’t think I read it as often as some of my other books.   Now I think this is an important book to read and discuss.  There are many lessons that I see now about the thoughts you think and the responsibilities you choose. 
I can relate to Meg; I, too, never wanted to be an oddball.  Yet I was.  I was not as smart at math as Meg, and I was just as good at the negativity and victim mentality that she was feeling during most of this book.  What I had missed in my readings was that Meg took responsibility when she did not want to and changed her course.  When she changed her course, the blame, shame, and victim mentality seemed to decrease, too.
 
As they prepare for their journey to rescue their father, Mrs. Which says, “There will no longer be so many pleasant things to look at if responsible people do not do something about the unpleasant ones.”   What does this mean?  Who are the responsible people?  What should they do?
 
When they free their father, the brother is left behind, and Meg is angry with her dad.  He did not meet her expectations.  There were several times when she thought her dad should have done something.   She is angry because her brother was left behind.  As they are talking about the situation, Meg cries out, “I can’t go!  I can’t!  You know I can’t.”   The response was that she was not asked to at that point, and she started crying as she said that she would go back for her brother.  She knows it must be her that will go in order to bring her brother back.  At this point, she takes responsibility and changes her course from being a victim, angry at others, to being a creator or proactive, willing to try again.  Not only did she save her brother, but she also gained self-confidence in who she was and gained some wisdom.  Meg’s wisdom lies in her ability to trust her emotions, which she thought was a weakness. 
 
What a wonderful lesson for us to learn.  That we can choose our thinking and take responsibility instead of being victimized by the situation.  We can use gifts wisely and come to better know ourselves through our experiences.  

I have read this book a couple of times now.  When I was much younger, it was one of the books my grandmother gave me.  Through the years, I have gained many messages from it.  This time through, I have been thinking more about an event that occurred at the beginning of the book.  Jane is not treated well by those with whom she lives with and after one of those unfair treatments, Jane strikes out. 

In consequence of her actions, she is sent away to a school for orphans.  A pretty severe consequence for a lapse in self-control.   That seems so extreme and cruel.   This time through, I looked at the story in a different light.  Audrey Rindlisbacker (Mission-Driven Mom) asks the question:  What principle/s did Jane or her aunt not understand or live?

Well, that has me thinking and thinking.

To add to that, I have been comparing Mrs. Reed with Miss Temple.  Both of these adults were responsible for Jane Eyre’s well–being.  How were they different?  Why?

I way I see it is that Miss Temple tried to live her life based on principles, and Mrs. Reed lived her life based on emotions.  Even at the end of Mrs. Reed’s life, she showed that she was still ruled by her emotions, and those emotions were all negative.  Miss Temple worked to find the principles and had a more positive view of her situation, yet their circumstances were very different.  Miss Temple had a very hard, cold life compared to the comfort and luxury of Mrs. Reed’s life. 

When Jane was around Mrs. Reed, she too lived based on her emotions – her very negative emotions.  Jane was treated unfairly; however, the thoughts that she had made things worse for her.  Jane chose passion over principle for many years.   You can see this as you compare Jane to Miss Temple and Helen.  Both of these ladies suffered much, yet they found ways to find the good, be positive, and focus on the principles of natural law. 

Jane did follow in the footsteps of Miss Temple and Helen.  She states:  “Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be.  If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth?  They have a worth – so I have always believed;…”

Jane turned from the idea of allowing emotion to rule her and lived by the principles she discovered in her life. 
This story has me thinking about how I treat people.  Do I let my emotions rule, or do I live my life based on principles?   In what ways should I treat people?  Based on what principles? 

What principles were not understood at the beginning of this story?  That all people are of divine worth and should be treated with kindness and respect.  

I have now read this book twice and have to say that I needed mentoring to see some of the lessons of this book.   I am so glad that there are people who do understand different ideas and share them with others.  Think of all the things that we would miss out on if there were not people sharing their ideas and gifts with the world.
 
The first time I read this book, I recorded that the Know-Feel-Do of the story was:
K – Trust is Good
F – that character (morality) is important
D- be trustful, courageous, and honorable like the princess. 
 
I wrote down that fairy tales are not about ethos, pathos, and Logos but are meant to make a point.   So what is the point I take from this story?
 
I think I want to spend a minute or two recording my thoughts about the light and darkness in the book.  The goblins live underground in the darkness because they didn’t want to pay taxes and withdrew.  In their new lives underground, they had and held on to a lot of their grievances, and that resentment grew and grew.  They changed as people, becoming physically and mentally different.    

They spend their time “devising trouble for their neighbours”.   Interesting.  How am I like this?  How do I hold onto things and cause myself to withdraw from the light and beauty that the world offers me?  Painful questions to ask.   The goblins hold on to their ideas so fervently that in the end, the government (King and Queen) makes several decisions that will cause them to destroy most of their population and their underground world. 

The caretakers of the Princess (Irene) knew that the goblins were causing trouble, so as they cared for her, they were very concerned with security and keeping the princess safe.  They had rules about being out after dark, closing the windows, and keeping guards on watch.  They were so focused on keeping Irene safe that they missed when she was not there and had left the safety of her home.   This approach was very different from her grandmother, who was always connected with light.  Her grandmother gave her guidance and gifts to help navigate through the challenges, along with healing when Irene returned.   Grandmother’s influence brought into Irene’s life also the Peterson family, who taught her many lessons.  Good relationships brought good actions. 
As I have been pondering this book, I keep returning to the light and the dark features of the story.  I wonder if I am surrounding myself with darkness or fear of the dark or seeking light.  I hope that I can move away from dark thinking and fear of the dark so that I spend my time seeking light. 

The author talks about the changes since the smartphone was released.   Think about the changes for a second of life before the smartphone and after.   I remember the day when I was working in the military and had a dial-up internet system that we used.   I remember advancement from floppy drives to hard drive discs to thumb drives.  I have lived through the time when you did all your work and then signed on to the internet, then sent your data, and then got off the internet.   Today, I am connected all the time; I don’t even have to do anything to connect to the internet.  All I do is click a button, and the system does the work.  Easy.   In fact, I will complain if the connection is not immediate.  There are so many things that I use the internet for.   However, I didn’t grow up with this.  I barely use social media now, and as a teenager, the "social media" was the gossip at school.  Not a large group, yet that was bad enough.  Now you can surround yourself with social media groups.  I don’t even know how many social media groups there are.
 
The research shows that most people spend around 16 hours per day that they are not fully present.  WOW.  Think about that, every time we look at our phone, we are not fully present in the moment. 
 
Mr. Haidt states there are several effects we are not thinking about and each of them is harmful to us.

1.  Social deprivation.  We are not playing or interacting with people face to face, including our children.
2. Sleep deprivation.  Heavy screen time is connected with shorter times in sleeping, and longer times in waking up.  Those who use the internet in bed have even more sleep problems.
3. Attention Fragmentation.  We just can’t focus.  We want a “constant stream of stimulation”.  It messes with our ability to think.
4. Addiction.  There are reinforced patterns that we are seeking for (like eating potato chips);  we keep looking for that dopamine hit.   Social media and gaming experts study this cycle, and it is working.  Think about the last time you kept scrolling on Facebook looking for something good, funny, or interesting instead of just turning it off and doing something good, funny, or interesting?  I am guilty of this one! 

For girls, the problem is usually social media, and for boys, it is gaming.  Girls show increased signs of depression as their hours on social media increase.  “There is a clear, consistent, and sizable link between heavy social media use and mental illness for girls, but that relationship gets buried or minimized in studies and literature reviews that look at all digital activities for all teens.”  One of the biggest side effects of more time on social media is the feeling of isolation that people have.  The book shares a lot of data and studies connected to these ideas.  For boys there is a “failure to launch” or they just don’t adult or join the adult world. Pornography and the virtual world consume boys.
Those working to raise teens during this time have a lot of challenges before them.  This is something that we need to keep talking about and sharing with others so we are more aware of the damage that is happening.  Being a parent has always been hard work; now it seems even harder because you are going to battle both sides, those that want your child to use their programs and your child (along with all their friends).  Tough crowd.
As I look at this, it really shows me how important it is to put the phones down and spend less time on social media and more time doing something productive with my life.  

After reading Volume 2, the biggest takeaway for me was that America is founded on the principles of religion and education. 

“The Americans show, by their practice, that they feel the high necessity of imparting morality to democratic communities by means of religion”.
And
“I do not know whether all the Americans have a sincere faith in their religion, for who can search the human heart? But I am certain that they hold it to be indispensable to the maintenance of republican institutions.”
Yet according to Paul Johnson’s A History of the American People, we have allowed this foundation to disappear.  The “authority of the state, and notably the courts-and especially the Supreme Court-did everything in their power to reduce the role of religion in the affairs of the state, and particularly in the education of the young…”   In many cases, there is hostility to religion and morals, just as there is hostility by some towards those who see the education system as a harmful place to send their children. 
Democracy in America, published a long time ago, may be challenging to read, but I believe it can show us the way to reestablish a culture of freedom as we focus on building families and communities that adopt a different perspective on religion and education.  If we can look at the moral laws that Christianity teaches and bring them back into the home and community, it could change everything. 
The family is the foundation of a community; if we start fixing the family, we will fix the community around us.  Learning to build a family culture will take work and energy; that is true, but starting to educate ourselves in the great classics will help speed the process along.  In Volume 2 of Democracy in America, the author compares the European way (aristocracy) and the American way (democracy) of doing things.  Looking at each side and picking the best of both worlds will build incredibly strong families and communities.  Reading books that share the family culture will give us much to discuss and practice.  If we don’t focus on building a family culture that promotes freedom and education, we will find ourselves more and more enslaved to the culture around us that tells us that we need leaders to direct us.  That we need to go back to an aristocracy, or worse, a tyranny.  

A quote that struck me in this book is found at the end of the Chapter 'Happy Days' :  "The day was ending in perfect satisfaction.  They were all there together.  All the work, except the supper dishes, was done until tomorrow.  They were all enjoying good bread and butter, friend potatoes, cottage cheese, and lettuce leaves sprinkled with vinegar and sugar."

What a vision of what family can look like.  The satisfaction of being with your family, accomplishment of the work needed, and enjoyment of food and time together.   So simple sounding and so hard to pull off.

This book is full of nuggets about creating a successful home culture and community.  I think sometimes when we read these books as youth but don't re-read them as adults we miss out on a lot of lessons or ideas.

I don't know that I appreciated this book the first time I read it.  Recently I have been studying family culture and decided I needed to revisit this book.

When I was starting to homeschool, I was looking into so many things and ways to figure it all out.  I had not intended to homeschool.  It sorta just happened.  When I started raising a family, I did not think about family culture or what a good family culture would be.  I was too busy trying to get a list of things done that I thought needed doing.  I didn't set out to build a specific family culture...it just kind of happened.  I have to say this is one area that I am studying more now because I can see the affects of my family culture on me and those things that I tried to change in my family.  As I think about how to deliberately build a family culture, Understood Betsy becomes a classic for me in that it contrasts independence and dependence.   What do we want to teach in our homes and why?  Why is it so important to examine what we might or might not being doing in our homes?

I have to believe that Aunt Frances did the best she could with the knowledge that she had but as we see in the story it creates a lot of fear and feeling of helplessness with Elizabeth Ann (Betsy).  In many ways the transition that Betsy experienced when she moved to the farm is how I felt being introduced to the TJEd philosophy.  There was so much that I didn't understand or know how to do. I have never felt that I had a great education and have struggled with what that even looks like or means.  I just knew something was missing and I wanted different.  But I didn't know what that difference was.  I started to see how things could be different as I studied the ideas taught in the TJEd philosophy.   Today I have been spending more and more time liking about how to build a family culture that unites and heals people and communities.   

Interesting how as you better understand who you are and who you want to become, your classics change.  Books that you thought were only okay become books that you later can use to help you see yourself and the world around you better.   

​I still have not watched the movie, so maybe I will have more to say afterward.  Molly was introduced to several family cultures:  
1.  Her father's home
2.  The Cumnor Family /  The Towers 
3.  Hamley Hall
4.  Her home after the marriage to Claire Kirkpatrick
5.  The Miss Brownings

She manages to make friends with them and and live peaceably with them all yet is the most influenced by Mrs. Hamley and Roger.  These 2 invited her into their lives and helped her through her challenges.  Here she was invited to grow and develop her mind and heart.  

This is a very different experience from her step-sister Cynthia who is sent away to school at a young age and is not invited into any family culture until Mr. Gibson marries her mother.  Imagine how things would have been different for Cynthia if she had been invited into a home and encouraged to develop her mind and heart the way that Molly had.  

No wonder Cynthia had so many struggles and yet look at all the good things about Cynthia's character!  We know nothing about her time away but I wonder if there was a mentor or two in her past.  Hopefully, the school she was sent to was not like the school that Jane Eyre was sent to but I think there must have been a mentor or two there to help Cynthia.  Yet how sad that Cynthia did not have a family culture that would help her as she struggled through growing up.  

Molly and Cynthia both have the opportunity to take these experiences they have had to build their own family cultures.  I wonder what they will choose to include.