The author talks about the changes since the smartphone was released.   Think about the changes for a second of life before the smartphone and after.   I remember the day when I was working in the military and had a dial-up internet system that we used.   I remember advancement from floppy drives to hard drive discs to thumb drives.  I have lived through the time when you did all your work and then signed on to the internet, then sent your data, and then got off the internet.   Today, I am connected all the time; I don’t even have to do anything to connect to the internet.  All I do is click a button, and the system does the work.  Easy.   In fact, I will complain if the connection is not immediate.  There are so many things that I use the internet for.   However, I didn’t grow up with this.  I barely use social media now, and as a teenager, the "social media" was the gossip at school.  Not a large group, yet that was bad enough.  Now you can surround yourself with social media groups.  I don’t even know how many social media groups there are.
 
The research shows that most people spend around 16 hours per day that they are not fully present.  WOW.  Think about that, every time we look at our phone, we are not fully present in the moment. 
 
Mr. Haidt states there are several effects we are not thinking about and each of them is harmful to us.

1.  Social deprivation.  We are not playing or interacting with people face to face, including our children.
2. Sleep deprivation.  Heavy screen time is connected with shorter times in sleeping, and longer times in waking up.  Those who use the internet in bed have even more sleep problems.
3. Attention Fragmentation.  We just can’t focus.  We want a “constant stream of stimulation”.  It messes with our ability to think.
4. Addiction.  There are reinforced patterns that we are seeking for (like eating potato chips);  we keep looking for that dopamine hit.   Social media and gaming experts study this cycle, and it is working.  Think about the last time you kept scrolling on Facebook looking for something good, funny, or interesting instead of just turning it off and doing something good, funny, or interesting?  I am guilty of this one! 

For girls, the problem is usually social media, and for boys, it is gaming.  Girls show increased signs of depression as their hours on social media increase.  “There is a clear, consistent, and sizable link between heavy social media use and mental illness for girls, but that relationship gets buried or minimized in studies and literature reviews that look at all digital activities for all teens.”  One of the biggest side effects of more time on social media is the feeling of isolation that people have.  The book shares a lot of data and studies connected to these ideas.  For boys there is a “failure to launch” or they just don’t adult or join the adult world. Pornography and the virtual world consume boys.
Those working to raise teens during this time have a lot of challenges before them.  This is something that we need to keep talking about and sharing with others so we are more aware of the damage that is happening.  Being a parent has always been hard work; now it seems even harder because you are going to battle both sides, those that want your child to use their programs and your child (along with all their friends).  Tough crowd.
As I look at this, it really shows me how important it is to put the phones down and spend less time on social media and more time doing something productive with my life.  

After reading Volume 2, the biggest takeaway for me was that America is founded on the principles of religion and education. 

“The Americans show, by their practice, that they feel the high necessity of imparting morality to democratic communities by means of religion”.
And
“I do not know whether all the Americans have a sincere faith in their religion, for who can search the human heart? But I am certain that they hold it to be indispensable to the maintenance of republican institutions.”
Yet according to Paul Johnson’s A History of the American People, we have allowed this foundation to disappear.  The “authority of the state, and notably the courts-and especially the Supreme Court-did everything in their power to reduce the role of religion in the affairs of the state, and particularly in the education of the young…”   In many cases, there is hostility to religion and morals, just as there is hostility by some towards those who see the education system as a harmful place to send their children. 
Democracy in America, published a long time ago, may be challenging to read, but I believe it can show us the way to reestablish a culture of freedom as we focus on building families and communities that adopt a different perspective on religion and education.  If we can look at the moral laws that Christianity teaches and bring them back into the home and community, it could change everything. 
The family is the foundation of a community; if we start fixing the family, we will fix the community around us.  Learning to build a family culture will take work and energy; that is true, but starting to educate ourselves in the great classics will help speed the process along.  In Volume 2 of Democracy in America, the author compares the European way (aristocracy) and the American way (democracy) of doing things.  Looking at each side and picking the best of both worlds will build incredibly strong families and communities.  Reading books that share the family culture will give us much to discuss and practice.  If we don’t focus on building a family culture that promotes freedom and education, we will find ourselves more and more enslaved to the culture around us that tells us that we need leaders to direct us.  That we need to go back to an aristocracy, or worse, a tyranny.  

A quote that struck me in this book is found at the end of the Chapter 'Happy Days' :  "The day was ending in perfect satisfaction.  They were all there together.  All the work, except the supper dishes, was done until tomorrow.  They were all enjoying good bread and butter, friend potatoes, cottage cheese, and lettuce leaves sprinkled with vinegar and sugar."

What a vision of what family can look like.  The satisfaction of being with your family, accomplishment of the work needed, and enjoyment of food and time together.   So simple sounding and so hard to pull off.

This book is full of nuggets about creating a successful home culture and community.  I think sometimes when we read these books as youth but don't re-read them as adults we miss out on a lot of lessons or ideas.

I don't know that I appreciated this book the first time I read it.  Recently I have been studying family culture and decided I needed to revisit this book.

When I was starting to homeschool, I was looking into so many things and ways to figure it all out.  I had not intended to homeschool.  It sorta just happened.  When I started raising a family, I did not think about family culture or what a good family culture would be.  I was too busy trying to get a list of things done that I thought needed doing.  I didn't set out to build a specific family culture...it just kind of happened.  I have to say this is one area that I am studying more now because I can see the affects of my family culture on me and those things that I tried to change in my family.  As I think about how to deliberately build a family culture, Understood Betsy becomes a classic for me in that it contrasts independence and dependence.   What do we want to teach in our homes and why?  Why is it so important to examine what we might or might not being doing in our homes?

I have to believe that Aunt Frances did the best she could with the knowledge that she had but as we see in the story it creates a lot of fear and feeling of helplessness with Elizabeth Ann (Betsy).  In many ways the transition that Betsy experienced when she moved to the farm is how I felt being introduced to the TJEd philosophy.  There was so much that I didn't understand or know how to do. I have never felt that I had a great education and have struggled with what that even looks like or means.  I just knew something was missing and I wanted different.  But I didn't know what that difference was.  I started to see how things could be different as I studied the ideas taught in the TJEd philosophy.   Today I have been spending more and more time liking about how to build a family culture that unites and heals people and communities.   

Interesting how as you better understand who you are and who you want to become, your classics change.  Books that you thought were only okay become books that you later can use to help you see yourself and the world around you better.   

​I still have not watched the movie, so maybe I will have more to say afterward.  Molly was introduced to several family cultures:  
1.  Her father's home
2.  The Cumnor Family /  The Towers 
3.  Hamley Hall
4.  Her home after the marriage to Claire Kirkpatrick
5.  The Miss Brownings

She manages to make friends with them and and live peaceably with them all yet is the most influenced by Mrs. Hamley and Roger.  These 2 invited her into their lives and helped her through her challenges.  Here she was invited to grow and develop her mind and heart.  

This is a very different experience from her step-sister Cynthia who is sent away to school at a young age and is not invited into any family culture until Mr. Gibson marries her mother.  Imagine how things would have been different for Cynthia if she had been invited into a home and encouraged to develop her mind and heart the way that Molly had.  

No wonder Cynthia had so many struggles and yet look at all the good things about Cynthia's character!  We know nothing about her time away but I wonder if there was a mentor or two in her past.  Hopefully, the school she was sent to was not like the school that Jane Eyre was sent to but I think there must have been a mentor or two there to help Cynthia.  Yet how sad that Cynthia did not have a family culture that would help her as she struggled through growing up.  

Molly and Cynthia both have the opportunity to take these experiences they have had to build their own family cultures.  I wonder what they will choose to include.

This book as been on my "someday" list for a long time and now I can say I have read the book.   
Spent a lot of time with the internet regarding translations and decided to go for the Anthony Briggs translation for two reasons: 1.  All in English 2.  The names of the characters are consistent through the book.

There are a lot of resources out there to help support your reading of this book.  But to me the most important resources is one that helps me see why the book is important and should be kept and read.  I am going to post one of them because I think it has helped be see more of why it is a great book.   

The CodeX Cantina Summary:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh5kUrqGWlI 


Continued thoughts

Overall when I closed the book my first thoughts were that these characters seemed either spoiled or innocent with no real mentoring involved. They were left to themselves to figure out life.   Hmmm kind of applies to today.

As I ponder War & Peace one of my thoughts is that I don't want to identify with Pierre.  I don't want to feel as lost and confused as he seems to be.   In all his attempts to find peace, he could not find it until the epilogue.  Yet that is probably what did happen and does happen with many of us.  We have many experiences that knock us around and reject us when all we want to do is be accepted and do something with our lives.  How different Pierre would be if there was a mentor who could help save him from himself.  A mentor who could have helped him process his wants and weaknesses directing him toward peace and solving the war within him.   As much as I don't want to identify with Pierre, I have walked that same path for quite a bit of my life.  

I do believe classics can be that mentor in some ways but know that classics alone is the long hard way.   I have had to re-read and re-read some books to figure out what they were saying to me.  Some I have been re-reading since my teen years and it took discussion with others that have read that book to get what I needed out of it.  Reading is a great start but reading alone may not help many of us.  After all, Pierre had a Western education yet it did not help him find the peace he was looking for.  I know people who have read a lot of books but they did not know how to let the books change them and didn't have people around them that helped them through the process.  When I first started trying to get a leadership education my finances were very tight and I was not in or near a TJEd community.   I had to really dig to begin to understand what a classic could offer me.  Many times I didn't gain as much as I hoped (or expected).  Things started changing when I worked to form a community where I could discuss ideas and make commitments to others.  I don't have an in-person community but luckily technology helped and allows me to connect with others that are willing to commit time and energy to understanding classics. 

My finances are still limited but I know that it's critical for me to be in a community (or 2) to keep myself growing and understanding.  I know that all things come at the right time in the right way but how I wish there were more options available to help my growth when I was attempting to do a leadership education in my home.  Hopefully, at least I provided a better starting place for my family because of what I did attempt.  My children will be hopefully picking up at around the same level as Pierre and Natasha's children are instead of where Pierre and Natasha started or their parents.    

However, in our world, there seems to be is a lack of people who have a 'basic understanding of natural law and the mores of principled behavior'.  We have a lot of people who are just looking to attend the next soiree just like in the story. Or looking for the next war so that they can feel alive and able to achieve honor and glory.  

More than ever we need to be able to understand what education is truly about and understand how to find our place in the world in a what that makes the world a better place.

“For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this work; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply one, but exact their dues of work and self-denial, anxiety and discouragement.” 
 
As I think back over my past I have to say that I find this statement true.  As I have worked hard to do some tasks or goals, the cost was not cheap.  It took my time and effort.  Sometimes I had to listen to lectures 3 or 4 times to get what I needed to get out of it in understanding about Scholar Skills.  Sometimes I have had to read a book over and over again and then discuss it with people in order to get a better understanding of what it meant to me or how this information could change me. 
 
As I pay the price to learn to read well, I find that I enjoy it more each time AND I am learning faster each time.